Blaine, Destiny - Breakfast by the Sea (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 20

  “I don’t think you feel small,” Adam said. “I think what you’re feeling is more along the lines of vulnerability.”

  “Could be. Whatever it is, she scares the hell out of me.”

  “You’re in love.”

  “I didn’t say I love her.”

  Adam touched his shoulder. “You didn’t have to. Actions spoke louder than any words. When Paige was in danger, you were ready to fight harder than you’ve ever fought before. You could’ve gotten all of us killed by the way you approached this house, but that thought never occurred to you. All you cared about was getting to Paige. You saved her life.”

  “If Ramone had hurt her…”

  “He didn’t.” Adam waited and a beat later added, “But you are. She needs you right now. She’s started to depend on you more than you realize. Go to her.”

  “I can’t do that until I know more about Charlotte.”

  Miles stepped out of the shadows then. “Everybody okay here?”

  “Yeah,” Jeff answered. “How are you?”

  “I didn’t bite the bullet,” he announced proudly.

  “No, but if you dodge enough of them, you might get to taste one sometime soon. They said you were trying to save Paige’s damn computer system. What were you thinking?” Jeff scolded Miles. He was so green. Jeff often worried Miles would die in combat.

  “I risked my life for this,” Miles told them, holding up a plastic case. “He has a right to see what’s on this, Adam.”

  “What are you talking about?” Jeff asked.

  “Right before we pulled in Paige’s driveway tonight, we discovered from our handler that we’ve had the footage of what happened in Charlotte for several months. I’d put in a request for the recording, and it was shipped with our training materials, and you know how I never go through those boxes.” Adam took a deep breath and continued, “Jeff, if you had the opportunity to watch what happened in Charlotte, would you take it?”

  Jeff swallowed hard. He wasn’t a fool. If Adam was asking that kind of question, then he definitely had the sealed security tapes from that fateful day his family died.

  Before he answered, Miles extended his arm, handing over the DVD. “I may be a young gun with a trigger finger I can’t control, but when I jump in front of ricocheting bullets and play dodgeball with grenades, you can count on one thing—I’m doing it for a good cause. I thought you needed to know what was on this.”

  Jeff took the plastic case. He stared at the round disc housed behind the transparent cover and wondered what answers he’d find there. “Have you seen what’s on it?” Jeff asked Adam.

  “Miles just watched it, right, Miles?”

  Miles looked toward the ocean. A sorrowful expression marked its place on his face. “If I could tell you in good faith not to watch it, I would. And maybe if I’m a friend at all, I can encourage you to trust me to fill in the blanks for you, answer a few questions. But I know you, Jeff. You won’t rest until you have answers. You’ll find them on that DVD, but I’m not sure you’ll sleep any easier once you have what you’ve been searching for.”

  “I have to watch this,” Jeff said softly.

  “It’s the only reason I almost took a bullet for you,” Miles informed him. “This is the only known copy of what happened in that airport suite. Once you witness what’s on there, you’ll understand why.”

  “Does Paige know you have this?”

  Miles shook his head.

  “If there’s something on there that will anger me, then you get her out of here. I don’t want to hurt her more than I already have.”

  Adam slapped Jeff on the back. “I don’t have any idea what’s on that disc, but I can tell you one thing. If you pass on Paige, you’re passing up something all of us want. I’m not sure any of us will step aside now that you’ve let her down. She deserves somebody to love. All of us are interested in taking care of her. But the thing is, we’re not you.”

  “If I were you, I’d count my blessings, Adam,” Jeff retorted.

  “You know what? I do. I can go to sleep at night and know I served my country, did my job, and earned my income. You, on the other hand, are always hungry for the next assignment because you can’t wait to kill the next bad guy. How many bad guys will you need to kill to avenge your father’s death? And how many of those guys will you place before your first real chance at love?”

  Jeff shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

  “Jeff,” Miles said cautiously. “Your father wasn’t who you think he was. If you plan to watch that footage, you have to understand what to expect. While you may be surprised at the way Paige handled herself, you may be very disappointed in your father.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jeff snapped.

  “It means he wasn’t a hero.”

  Jeff clenched his fists. “You got something to say about my father, you say it. Don’t beat around the bush, Miles!”

  “All I’m saying is that like all men, he was human. He made mistakes, and in the end, his bad decisions cost him everything—his life and his family.”

  “He was a good man,” Jeff said solemnly.

  “I didn’t say he wasn’t a good guy,” Miles pointed out. “What I’m saying is he wasn’t perfect.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Paige walked along the beach in deep thought. She realized one of the guys must have spotted her when she left the property. She heard a shuffle above her and then the heavy footsteps striking against the wooden planks leading down to the beach. She didn’t look back. She kept right on walking.

  About a mile down the coastline, Callan called for her, “Want some company?”

  If it had been anyone else, she might have said no, but Callan never crowded her. He was easy to be around in a comfortable silence.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to catch up,” she said, glancing over her shoulder. “Took you long enough.”

  “I’m not Jeff. I don’t have robotic lungs.”

  “He’s in better shape than I am.”

  Callan’s gaze drifted over her. “I highly doubt that.”

  “He must’ve been a bloodhound in his former life.”

  “I was thinking along the lines of a rattlesnake,” Callan said.

  Paige stopped walking. “How come no one gets along with Jeff?”

  “Jeff doesn’t get along with Jeff.”

  “That’s pretty sad.”

  “It’s true.”

  “Why? I mean—” She paused and tried to think of the best way to approach the Jeff subject. “I realize he’s bitter over what happened to his family. Who wouldn’t be? I didn’t know them, but after I watched them die, I was devastated. I can only imagine what Jeff must’ve gone through, losing his family all at once. But what else made him so hard? Something had to destroy him. What was it?”

  “Paige, guys in our line of work don’t carry guns for show. It’s hard for civilians to understand, but you should have a good idea of what we do for a living. You’ve seen it first-hand here.

  “We’re a private army of sorts. While soldiers enlist to go overseas and fight for causes they very often don’t understand, we stay at home fighting enemies who attack our schools and our economy. We stop drug trafficking and illegal activity of cartel members.

  “We kill our targets because if we don’t, we risk massive loss. If we hesitate, if our fingers don’t pull the triggers, we can’t follow through with our orders and that means we can kiss our lives goodbye. While we convince ourselves we’re making the world a better place, in the end a career like ours changes a man.”

  “You’re not like Jeff, though. No one on your team is like Jeff.”

  “Jeff has been fighting in guerilla warfare since he began his career. He didn’t have a family when he entered the special ops program, and he went on some of the deadliest missions we’ve ever encountered, fighting against the cartel and active terrorists.

  “Jeff has seen a lot, Paige. He’s been involved in some of the most gruesome operatio
ns ever. He’s survived torture, escaped imprisonment, and basically survived because the need to survive is not only instinct but a challenge for him. Each time he walks away from a mission, he feels vindicated. He couldn’t save his family, but he saves himself when he finishes another mission.”

  “Will he ever change?”

  Callan released a heavy sigh. “I don’t think he will. But if he does? I think he’ll change for you.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Miles told me what was on the tape.”

  “What tape?”

  “The one he gave Jeff.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Adam had the security footage from Charlotte. Jeff is up at the house watching the DVD now. From what Miles told me, everything you said about trying to save his family was true. Jeff will see that. He’ll—”

  “He can’t watch that!” she screamed, taking off toward the house.

  Callan caught up to her quickly, snatching her by the arm. “You’re too late. He’s had time to view the surveillance.”

  “What were you thinking!” she cried out. “What were any of you thinking?”

  “Miles said Jeff will finally understand that you told him the truth. Once he watches it, he’ll see the effort you made to save his father, mother, and sisters. He’ll—”

  “See his father was nothing more than a pawn for the mafia! That’s what he’ll see. Don’t you understand? This will destroy him!”

  Callan glared at her. “What are you talking about? His father was a high-profile lawyer and highly regarded by his peers.”

  “Says who?” she asked. “Jeff?”

  “Well, yes, actually.”

  “That’s the little boy coming out. Don’t you understand? Jeff’s family was killed by Ramone because his father double-crossed the mob. He used his law firm to wash money for terrorist groups.” She started running again. “I can’t believe you all were this stupid! Why would you want him to see something like this? Why would you hurt him like this?”

  “Miles thought it would clear you,” Callan informed her, catching up to her and snatching her arm.

  “That’s not what matters right now!” she screamed, yanking her arm free. “Don’t you see? I’d rather Jeff doubt me! I don’t want him to see what his father was! This will devastate him!”

  Paige sprinted down the beach. Maybe Jeff took a shower first or perhaps grabbed something to eat. She ran faster and faster. She had to get her hands on that disc before Jeff saw with his own eyes how and why his family died.

  * * * *

  She was too late.

  Jeff glared out the window, watching Paige as she approached the house. Callan must’ve told her what he was doing, and she wanted to stop him.

  God, could he possibly love her any more than he did in that very moment?

  She looked frantic. She rushed toward the house like she was trying to stop a murder. He’d seen that look before. Five minutes ago. When she was trying to convince Ramone Carpasia not to kill his family.

  He stood perfectly still, replaying the events he’d just watched. Miles had been right. His father wasn’t perfect. What he hadn’t bothered to say was that his father was a crook, a bought man, a man the mafia and other organizations relied upon for their legal dirty work. And look where his lucrative career got him.

  Jeff didn’t want to see her then. He didn’t want to thank her for fighting for his family until he’d dug into her past and tried to understand how she could watch something so brutal and then give herself to the man who’d orchestrated the death of children—and not just any children, but his sisters.

  Paige had taken Ramone Carpasia to her bed. Had she been forced, as it appeared? He believed she didn’t have a choice, but Jeff had to be absolutely sure. He had to understand her because he had plans, an agenda of his own.

  Jeff waited until he saw her unlatch the small gate on the expansive front deck. Then, he walked upstairs, chose one of the guest rooms, and locked himself behind closed doors.

  He didn’t want to face Paige until he processed everything he had watched. The only person he needed to confront was himself, and he wasn’t even sure he could do that.

  His whole life had been a lie. He’d fought for a cause that didn’t exist. He sought revenge, but payback had long since been delivered.

  He’d tried to avenge the deaths of his mother, father, and sisters, but it was pointless. His father sealed all their fates from the time they were small children.

  His father went up against one of the most notorious killers of their time. And he lost.

  Jeff had taken on those same men. And he’d won.

  Trony had gotten away, but he’d get him, too. His day was coming.

  But what good was revenge? What purpose did it serve? Would the blood they shed bring back his family? No.

  Would killing Ramone change the past? Certainly not.

  Did he feel any better now that he’d killed the man responsible for destroying his family? Hell, no.

  He had nothing left. He’d avenged the deaths of his family members. Then, he’d taken a seat in front of a recording and watched his family die in front of him. He’d die those deaths a thousand times in his mind. That wouldn’t bring them back.

  Worse still, Jeff was angry. He was mad as hell.

  Paige had tried to save his mother and his sisters. Did she realize she was fighting a losing battle from the very beginning? Was that why she’d gone to bed with a monster? Was that why she’d agreed to marry Ramone Carpasia? Had she lived in constant fear? If so, how did he make up for that?

  Jeff’s career left a lot to be desired. Even if he allowed himself to love Paige—or to experience the love he already felt—what could he offer her? In the end, she’d have nothing.

  Jeff leaned on the bed and crossed his arms behind his head. He needed to rest. Maybe then he could make sense of things.

  A light knock stilled his heart.

  “Jeff, are you in there?”

  No. He wasn’t. He was somewhere else. His mind was far, far away. He was that teenage boy who’d just gotten the news.

  His family was dead. They were killed in cold blood. Now, he wanted to grieve. Alone.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “I’m not going away,” Paige said, shaking the doorknob. “Open up, Jeff, this is my house! If you can’t open this door then maybe you and your friends should just leave!”

  The door swung open and Jeff yanked her inside the room. His bloodshot eyes showcased a lot of moisture. Had he been crying?

  His body language suggested he didn’t want to be bothered. He paced the room without saying a word—his shoulders squared and his arms flexed with tight bands of thick muscle. When he turned to face her, his face was red-hot with fury.

  “Jeff,” she began, “Callan said you watched the surveillance video.”

  He didn’t say a word. He glared right through her.

  “What can I do to help you?” she asked in a small voice.

  He flinched. Those very words came back to him. He envisioned her leaning over his sisters, cradling their forms and asking that very question. Maybe that was her tactic. She asked what she could do to help when she knew there wasn’t anything she could do.

  A weighted breath fell from her chest. “Jeff, you have to let go of the hurt. Release the anger you’ve kept pent up all these years.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “Who is it that I’m furious with, exactly?”

  “Yourself,” she answered in a matter-of-fact tone. “You despise yourself for what you’ve done. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re this bad person who doesn’t deserve a happy life. Jeff, you deserve a good life. You’re a good man. I believe that. You need to believe it, too.”

  He shuddered when she finished speaking, and the room fell quiet for another few minutes. When he continued to stare at her blankly, she realized he simply didn’t see her. Perhaps he hadn’t listened to a word she’d said.
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br />   “Tell me what I can do to make things easier for you.”

  “You mean outside of sleeping with the enemy?” His eyes flickered with undeniable resentment.

  The bile rose in her throat. “You think I had a choice?”

  “You chose, and you chose wrong.”

  “I made a decision to live!”

  “Based on what I’ve seen, you made a choice to merely exist.” Jeff’s tone was cool and disconnected.

  “What would you have done?”

  “I don’t know what I would’ve done! What I know for sure is that I couldn’t have gone to bed with a murderer after watching how he slaughtered a helpless family!”

  She inched forward, madder than she’d ever been. Who was he to judge her? She was in his face, unable to stop herself when she raised her hand to smack some sense into him and grateful when he caught her before she did. If he’d allowed the first swat, she might have beaten the holy hell out of him. Such a stubborn, bullheaded man.

  “You have no right to talk to me like I’m trash! You want to know what it’s like to go to bed with a killer? Do you? Would you like for me to tell you? Hmmm? See, I’ve been in bed with four of them. Three of the four you know pretty damn well. So tell me, Jeff, what does it feel like to wake up each morning and stare a killer in the eye, huh?”

  She lowered her voice. “Do you get off on it? Does it make you feel like a real man when you look in the mirror and know that you’ve strangled the life out of one woman after another? Hmmm?” She shoved him. “Tell me, damn you!”

  “The women I’ve taken out were on a list of targets we’re required by our handlers to terminate,” he said, furiously stalking toward her.

  She took a step forward, and with a lot of determination, she hissed a kiss upon his lips the second his eyes fell to her mouth. “This woman was on your damn list, too!” With tears in her eyes, she hurried across the room, heading for the door.

  “Wait,” he said in a guttural tone.

  She didn’t turn around. The tears drifted over her cheeks. “I don’t want to wait. I want you to go. I want you out of here tonight. I don’t give a damn if your whole team stays, but I want you gone!”